Entitled.

"Do away with the drama", I told you midst the constant humming of people's voices around, that sweet fragrance of hookah in the air, keeping us warm; The raindrops working their way through the intricate jute shelter above us. You sat there contemplating whether or whether not to kill me today. I agree, I don't exactly define the word 'nice' but my words pierce through your skin with a flame of honesty , I would never deny. 'WHAM!' you slam me right across the left cheek; In your head, it all seemed so easy. But look at me sitting, with my guard up, somehow still holding on to that delicate light, am your biggest weakness. It's me that always puts your head way across that paddy field.
You make leaps and bounds with my hand in yours, pull out the fangs of darkness consuming the epitome of happiness that comes with life as it is. But you know that if you held on too long, the poison would kill the both of us without a second to spare or that proximal bit of joy that you see beyond the pain and anger in my eyes.
What would you do if you were in love and your strength and weakness was all the same thing?

Emancipation.

I look back on times that I wanted to sit in the corner of my room, surrounded by shining pieces of glass, teasing myself with the sharp edges, under a light, screaming nothing into the fading darkness around the haze; The times I wanted to tear apart the skin of my thighs and arms and bleed hoping everything would flow out and clot into little scabs, that I can just peel away one day.

Today, we are older than the last time. Today, we can look at the scars that have been left behind by our past. Gallant as ever, through every rain, the reason why I always carry my jacket; you, your umbrella. As the sun rose and dipped into the horizon like a cookie in milk everyday, everything took on a new shape. Like the pieces of a book that could no longer hold on, softened by the constant beating of apathy, we grew apart. But yet today, I feel that we came closer. The older I grew, I climbed up the ladder. The older you grew, you climbed down towards me.

Now, you're in the way. You have been many times before and I have just sat in the illusions of my light, silently pushing the virus to another part of my body, delaying the wounds, the blood and the scab. Today, I know I will never see the scabs because I will never bleed. The needle was poked around into my vein, the nurse tipped the syringe here and there. She twisted it around from side to side like she was trying to wear an earring after years of nothing. Still, no blood.

In the dominion of my life, there are many craters, empty, rotting, green with fungus. Like a vial of life had been drawn out every now and then. I think back to some years that just went by in silent agony. Of years that I will never get back. Today, you say you don't love me or respect me any more. Today, you say your life isn't here but down in the emptiness of the darkness that led you to me. I watch earnestly into the speck of light as my lost soul disappears into the bundles of baggage you took with you.

Musings of a cynic

This one's for you and me.

Everyday begins with the rain now. The sun hidden underneath the big blanket of vapour, the raindrops still fresh on the leaves. Then there's you. Deceitful and narcissistic. It's amusing what a show you put on and how it always catches my eye. There's this moment of truth when you pass by really close to me to show me what I'm missing, with the whiff of that cigaretty-mint odor of dishonesty and revenge and strangely, love at the same time. The smell runs deep down my lungs, alerting my senses and releasing that rush of adrenaline and my heart skips a beat, my whole body becomes cold. Amazing how you still do that to me. There's beauty in your eyes. I see it. I see through your soul, a fire of a thousand suns that burns out the love and affection. But you created the monster residing within me, slowly unleashing the enormity. You with your facade of joy and the dark shadow that drains down the whimsicality, provoke the zeno(light) of my soul to consume all that evil they've pushed down your throat. There's me. Tripolar and dark, with thoughts spinning like a tornado to answer your riddles. But what we share baby, No one can ever have, no one can ever know.

Music intervention.

Now that pop music is invading our world, the whole idea of "good music" is lost. I mean "SSS n MMM"?! What is that?
Shocker, that the same Rihanna who sang unfaithful, Shut up and drive, Love the way you lie, made such a terrible song.
My inspiration, Shashank taught me that music speaks when words fail and that music is the one thing that will set you free.
It's the one thing that is pure and adds colour to the world. It's the beauty that sets the dancers' feet in motion.
(p.s. Shashank is my good ol' guitar instructor with amazing hair. That's his page - http://www.reverbnation.com/shashankg)

I was just walking through few places in and around Bangalore city few days ago. I came accross these incredible guitarists
and singers in all universe. So, earthlings, if you're a fan of "good" music, Brigade road is THE place to be. Yesterday was one crazy jamming session.
I've never heard anybody play the blues with collaboration of slight metal and rock the way they did.
It was more like a fusion of Metallica + Guns 'n roses + Matthew morrison + blues before sunrise + radiohead kind of a genre.
That sounds crazy, I know. But trust me, it happened and it sounded amazing.
But unfortunately, they're all too busy to be in a band.

As for me, well I'm doing crappy ol' senior year in my crappy ol' junior college but that DOES NOT mean I'm too busy for a band.
I'm now officially starting my venture to find the perfect band members. I'll keep y'all updated on that with photos and videos.
So, hang in there to your seats and wait.
You know what they say in spanish, "Estoy dispuesto a darle una patada en el culo." :p


ALSO, Here are some cool stuff that I came accross when I was in my perpetually bored and annoyed mode.
Art is a lie that makes us realize truth - Pablo Picasso
Habit is stronger than reason - George Santayana

Exams are stupid. My junior college is stupider.

It may be one of the stupidest places in the whole of Bangalore.
So, I had my physics practical exams the other day, and the experiment I was given was the simplest of all, Vernier calipers. I finished my experiment in about half an hours time and submitted my exam sheet and gave her a demonstration of the whole experiment.
She stops me, and asks me the difference between length and breadth. I told her, "the longer side's the length and the smaller side's the breadth". She erupts into a fit of anger and starts to randomly yell at me and draws the attention of the so-called-obedient classmates of mine who just wait to catch up on any kind of gossip that flies by. She then tells me the same old thing that she says to every other student, "You students have a lot of attitude these days". I mean seriously lady? What's the connection between dimensions of a wooden block and student attitude?. She continues, "The shorter side is the length. Don't you have some kind of common sense? Look at your hair, so ugly, tie it up. Blah blah blah". Now, this is where she crossed her lines. NOBODY talks about my hair the way she did and to me, my hair is my prized possession. Heck, every girl's prized possession is her hair. The lady was not stupid, she was STOOPID with two Os. My "physics" lab invigilator doesn't even know the freaking difference between length and breadth of a wooden block.
What a weird, weird world.

Two people..

It’s been a crazy couple of days.
It’s amazing how this one person can drive you so insane. So insane, that you find yourself incredibly restless for no apparent reason. That’s what makes a teenager’s life. Her folks yelling all the time, pms, friendship problems and top of that, boy problems.
It’s weird how things fall apart, no matter how careful you are while building it.
But I guess, if she loved him, she’d let him move on. But she’s not strong enough to let go.
What if he’s built a wall to keep her from even, consoling him?
She’s isn’t the one that trudges. She’d built walls too. To keep him from getting to her again. To prevent herself from trusting him and believing him. To prevent herself from forgiving him.
But he broke down the walls with such ease. He did it all over again. Is that what this is about? Going round in circles?
And just when she thinks everything’s perfect, it all comes crashing down. But that person’s there for you. He consoles you and breaks your heart at the same time. She hates him. She loves him. She cannot live without him.
She’s the craziest he’s ever come across. She has never felt this way before about a person. They fight like they’re married. But, somewhere in the corner of her heart, she knows he won’t leave her.
Eyes of jealousy burn with fury around them.
They still love each other,
And the world’s the same.

has anybody ever wondered how big the universe is?

Point #1: All of us are aware of the communal problem and how people are reacting to few things that are being made into issues. We always worry about what religion the person is from rather than his soul. We go about the society letting people know where we stand. But how does that really matter? I really don't understand!
Point #2: when we were lil' kids, we would accidentally kill ants. Has anybody ever wondered how big the universe is? Our solar system itself is "INVISIBLE" compared to the entire universe. Imagine where we stand from that perspective. We're not even close to the size of ants. How long would it take for something out there to kill us?
My whole point: We should learn to live everyday like its our last. There is really no point in writing a future when you're not really sure if there's going to be a tomorrow. Eat your dessert first. Do the things you love. Why bother about anything else? When you die, people will address you as a dead person. Not with your religion. The important thing out of it all is being together.. with the people we love. The most important thing is humanity. It doesn't matter what people think when you know you're doing the right thing. Its time to stand up for what's right. Its time to stand up for humanity. Do your bit :)

together

I remember how we used to laugh,
Laughter always came from the heart
But now it’s gone, and everything’s tough
I think its time we got to a start

And we’ll get through the awful days
Hand in hand, we’ll make a way,
Fighting for love and all that’s right
Music making it sweet and gay

Let’s let our imaginations go wild,
Let’s find a way to make it fine
When everything’s against the tender and mild
Let’s not fight about the “yours and mine”

And in the night, we’ll travel far
Staring at the sky, listening to a howl
Wishing upon a shooting star
We’ll make it through without a fall

And then the sunlight hit the green
Shining high and scattering light
Rejoicing and removing the bitter screen
Taking us to a greater height

The laughter’s back in every way
Happy and light, merry and sweet
I told you we’ll make it; I told you I’ll stay
Together we can conquer the greatest feat

-Aditi